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Books. Books. Books... and then more books! So many goddamn books!
Yazmyn could only groan to herself as she flipped through the pages of the many journals she had laid out in front of her, a cigarette smoldering in between her fingers as tired lavender eyes glazed through the ink dancing on the worn paperwork. The blonde seemed a little worse for wear now having spent a few days up and about the Wharf, searching for answers to questions she didn't even fully understand. Clothes worn, hair a little messy, bags under her eyes - telltale signs that Yazmyn Noir had fully delved into this task she thrust upon herself to the point of obsession and the fact that her arm kept making her feel like she was consistently being stabbed by a jagged-edge dagger wasn't helping matters.
The blonde Huntress winced a little at a sudden pang of pain before slumping in her seat a little, a tired sigh escaping her. Why the hell was this so bloody difficult? You'd think some assholes who attached Vanta to people would be a little easier to find. So far all she came up with was, well... nothing. Absolute zero. Nada. Zilch. That mere fact was beginning to drive her crazy and as a result she had dedicated herself to finding the answers through effort quite a few people would think was too far and borderline unreasonable.
One of those people was Gloria, the bartender at the Hunter's Lodge in the Wharf.
"Yazmyn," she began, sitting down at the aforementioned Huntress' table.
"Gloria," the Huntress replied. She didn't even need to look at her to know that Gloria had a clear-cut expression depicting worry on her face.
"Yaz, honey, you've been at this for three days now. Isn't it time you give it a rest and get some sleep?" The barmaid insisted and all Yaz could do was rub her face. Three days? Shit, it'd been longer than she thought.
"I can't sleep," Yazmyn replied bluntly, and she wasn't dishonest about it either. Yes, the blonde Huntress could get obsessive about something if she put her mind to it, but in this particular case it wasn't just that anymore. For whatever reason - whether it was the weather or something even more stupid - her arm had been giving her one hell of a time lately. For the past two weeks she couldn't properly sleep without getting drunk or getting some form of sedative or painkiller from the clinics. Yet even she realized the former of the two wasn't going to get her very far both as a Huntress and a person altogether. And the latter... honestly speaking Yazmyn already had regular painkillers prescribed to her but she refused to take them. She had the idea of being dependent on something that killed her senses, made her slow and barely cognizant. She'd honestly rather just take the pain and live with it.
Gloria heaved a tired breath and shook her head. Getting up on her feet, she walked around the table and placed both of her hands on Yazmyn's shoulders, rubbing them gently, "Being cooped up here for days isn't going to help with that, y'know," she began, smiling down at the blonde. "You weren't made for the cities, girl. Get out! Stretch your legs! You and I both know that'll make you feel better."
Yazmyn hummed as she leaned back in her chair tiredly, a quiet moan escaping her at the massage. Ignis, Gloria always knew the right spots to hit. The pain, even if only barely, eased up almost immediately. "There's some routine Hunter exercises going on this weekend for the newbies - weren't you supposed to be part of that?" The barmaid added.
This time the blonde groaned, "Do I really look like someone who needs something as basic as that?"
"Your record shows you do." Gloria retorted.
"Which part?" Her eye twitched. She barked back.
"Uh... lack of basic formal training." The barmaid then deadpanned, a small smirk on her face.
Yazmyn froze a little. "...fair point."
"And you know the senior Hunters are going to be on your case if you skip out again, right?"
This time the one star Huntress froze a bit more than just a little.
...
...
...
She clicked her tongue.
"Fine!" Yazmyn then groaned out as she threw her hands - and, subsequently, quite a large stack of papers - up. The parchments got strewn about everywhere as the blonde blew a strand of hair out of her face and stood up. "I'll go, I'll go. Just keep things as they are for me, alright? I'm gonna keep digging when I get back."
"Kay~" Gloria's sing-song voice made it obvious to the young woman that the barmaid had something else in mind and there was no stopping her when she put her mind on something. Devious, devious woman woman.
--------------------------------
"Alright, where the fuck was this place..." The blonde Huntress - now fully geared with a new set of clothes (namely a long white shirt, black fitted cargo pants and black boots with her brown leather Hunter coat with the hood slipped on) - mused to herself as she looked over a map of the Wharf and the surrounding area. The exercises which were now already underway were held somewhere deeper into the Outlands. With any luck she'd be able to make it before lunch-time if she went on foot. She pocketed her map in her satchel and began her trek at a steady pace, taking note of the surrounding area and the nature around her.
Not too long into her journey Yazmyn noticed something that amounted to a struggle. Tracks - seemingly scattered, hurried - both human and beast. Claw marks littered damaged trees with several blood stains here and there. Her curiosity piqued, the blonde Huntress began to follow these tracks, her instincts guiding her along the foliage carefully, trying to remain out of sight.
Until she finally saw what was causing all the commotion.
Fuck, a word said as he peaked behind the giant tree in which he was hiding.
His shirt had been ripped off by strong claws, but even that could have its use. Utilizing that piece of now non-wearable white cloth, he placed it around the huge gash on his left arm, tightning it as hard as he could in order to prevent any more blood of dripping out. The white quickly turned red, the cloth quickly became soaked.
Urgh, he let out the small sound as he clenched his teeth from the pain.
His torso was, then, visible to the world. A broken body, a body that should only belong to a corpse, not to someone that was alive and breathing. There wasn't an inch of skin that wasn't filled with grotesque markings. Scars of all kind, scars one couldn't even imagine.
Words... Words weren't enough to describe the horror that was Gwrtheyrn Medrawt's tortured body.
His ungloved right hand grabbed Regalia Slaga with determination. A hand from which nails no longer grew, a hand in which the bones of some fingers could be slightly visible due to the weakness of the renewed tissue.
He peaked to the other side of the tree again. into the clearing of that forest.
And now there it was, sniffing and lurking. Hunting for its prey.
The beast was about five meters tall, a fat, slimy and ugly monster that was able to quickly crawl with the help of its six legs and long tail. With no eyes, it moved according to the scent its small nose captured, a nose that was underneath its huge, spiky mouth.
This was a battle that had been going on for some time now, the creature also bleeding from some parts of its limbs due to the damage that Gwrtheyrn had been able to inflict. That's what caused it to become more enraged and forced the young man to flee in order to recompose himself.
What had forced him so deep into the Outlands.
As his non-human opponent smelled his location out, he took a deep breath. Blood dripping out of his head - which turned parts of his into a ruby colour - Gwrtheyrn was waiting for the right moment.
He always was.
~~Some hours earlier~~
"I said that I'm going with you!", the female yelled.
And I said that you are not, he replied as he sheathed his rapier as he was getting ready to go away.
The discussion between Gwrtheyrn and Yldra had been going on for some minutes, but no conclusion had been reached. While the male was as stoic and composed as ever, the female with long, black hair and silver eyes became increasigly vocal.
"I gave in when Geoffery disappeared, I'm not giving in now! At least take Blake and Elgr with you, they are already fine an-"
If I take them and they die with me then the Hamlet will have no one to protect it from outsiders. And if I take you and you die then I'd not forgive my-
"Stop it! Stop it!", the girl yelled as she pushed him with all her strenght against the wooden wall of his hut, "You've been acting like this ever since you came back! You put all of us in your back and refuse to share that weight, but you're just being stubborn!"
Her voice getting more emotional, she pushed him again even if Gwrtheyrn was already against the wall. Despite his hate of physical contact, he did nothing.
He simply stared at her as she continued.
"We already trust you, we already support you, so stop doing this! Just stop it! I thought you were dead, but those two..."
Gwrtheyrn's eyes widen up.
"... Libbert and Zair never gave up on you, so just stop throwing yourself around recklessly like this! Don't die for others!"
Yldra pressed her body against Gwrtheyrn's, placing her head into his torso while grabbing his shirt with hands. He could feel her tears on his skin.
"There has to be another solution, so just don't go out there and disappear again..."
For some moments, there was just silence. Then, slowly, as if he had forgotten how to do such gesture, Gwrtheyrn wrapped his arms around Yldra and hugged her tightly.
I'll come back. I promise you.
~~
The monster screamed loudly as it rushed towards the tree - the scent had been picked up.
I can't die here.
In a swift motion, Gwrtheyrn rolled sideaways as the monster clashed head first into the tree, bringing it down as if it was nothing. Stopping the roll with both his feet, he pressed hard against the floor in order to gain impulse and beginning dashing straight onto the beast which, in turn, return the favour by repositioning itself and equally begin dashing against Gwrtheyrn.
That's right, make sure you follow my smell. Because if you do...
At the last moment, Gwrtheyrn threw himself on the ground in a way that used his own momentum to begin sliding forwards and underneath the beast. Or, in other words that can better explain such action, right where the beast's shadow was.
... you'll be blinded by it.
Beneath the beast, he used the blade of his rapier has a break and has a weight that allowed him to readjust his body to be in a crouching position, his off hand touching the floor as the sliding motion came to an end.
Duusend Skaad: Spoddr Tronn.
The shadow of the beast merged all into one central point that, quickly, became solid and formed a single, wide spike that took physical form and rose up into the belly of this monster, piercing it in the process. It had gone according to plan.
However...
What?!
The beast screamed in pain. The spike had drawn blood and gone through its body, but... not nearly deep enough, making the damage much smaller than anticipated. It seemed like this monster had some type of protective layer on this lower part of its body, making hits on that area needing to be either stronger than normal or many in number in order to weaken the belly and, only then, be able perfurate the body and directly hit the vital organs.
It had been a mistake. A mistake of someone whose expertise was far from being the Outlands. A mistake that could be a fatal one.
The beast reacted by, much like a horse, trying to kick Gwrtheyrn away with one of its legs. In order to avoid this, the young man jumped backwards in order to avoid the hit.
The beast anticipated such move.
While in air and, therefore, practically defenseless, Gwrtheyrn was directly hit by the tail of the monster. Swinging in an horizontal way, the tail threw him crashing hard and with speed against a tree on the other side of the clearing.
Regalia Slaga was on the floor, a few feet away from him. He was now sitting down, back pressed against the tree he had been thrown against. Despite conscious, he was clearly damaged. And yet...
I guess we'll go again then, he said as he spat some blood on the ground.
As the survivor gathered his strenght to keep on surviving just like he had done all his life, the beast was, surprisingly, refraining from attacking him immediately.
"What in the fuck is that...?" Yazmyn whispered to herself. She was hiding behind a thick shield of foliage, keen lavender eyes watching the on-going fight. That thing was big and utterly disgusting. That guy who was trying to fend it off... she noticed the scars before she noticed his face and couldn't even help the hand that rose to cover her mouth as if it was the natural response to a sight like that. She had, however, very little time to assess the situation or even think of what was going on as the male was swatted away like a fly by the monster's tail. Ignis, she felt that in her bones.
The Huntress' eyes widened when she realized the monster was going in for the kill. Gritting her teeth, her entire body tensed as she launched herself out of cover and into the fray. "Oi, douchenozzle!" She yelled out after realizing that the monstrosity had noticed her. Well, rather, caught her scent. With a nose like that under its maw and the lack of eyes, it wasn't difficult to deduce that it primarily relied on its sense of smell to Hunt. She could work with that.
"Shouldn't have smoked on my way here," she huffed to herself as the monster's attention switched from the male down under to the approaching Huntress. It opened its large sharp teeth-filled maw and snarled at her loudly. As a response, Yazmyn very quickly drew her hunting knife and hurled it directly at the beast before launching herself into the air via a blast of fire at the soles of her feet. The blonde clicked her tongue when her thrown hunting knife only managed to hit a tooth and not her actual target - its gums. Yet it seemed that the wild beast still felt the impact, if the increase of aggression had any say in the matter.
Immediately the beast swung its tail directly at the Huntress as she approached from the air. She, however, was watching the male fight this creature and had expected this. Rather, she baited it. As the tail came close to her, Yazmyn pointed Icarus' palm right at the approaching appendage. Within the blink of an eye something was shot out directly from the palm of the Vanta weapon - a secondary weapon, one that Yazmyn was much more used to using. The beast howled in pain as a metallic spear impaled its tail at the root, sticking it to the ground and limiting its mobility.
Yazmyn, then, expunged more flames from her left palm which she had pointed directly above her head once she was aligned with the beast. This resulted in a quick and heavy descent right on top of its head, slamming its mouth into the ground. Using this opportunity while the monster was dazed, Yazmyn reached around using her metal arm and slammed a fist into its teeth, breaking one. She then grasped on the broken tooth and slammed the sharp end into her original target - the beast's gums.
Eyes rose to regard the male, "Get off your ass and use those shadows of yours to cut its tail off, where my spear is!" She barked, struggling to remain on top of the creature's head as it thrashed about, snarling and roaring out in both pain and rage.
[attr="class","itsover"] Despite the pain he was feeling in his spine, the young man was starting to focus his strenght on his legs muscles in order to get up back on his feet. It wasn't like he had much choice - it was either that or being eaten by that weird mutated looking thing.
A promise was made. Gwrtheyrn Knútr Medrawt keeps his promises, no matter what.
However, the orphan wasn't dumb and knew fairly well that the odds were stacked against him. It's funny - many would think that, after going through what happened to him in previous years, the pain he now felt would be nothing in comparison.
These people would be right: it really wasn't. But people with such thoughts also don't know a thing about the world. Pain is pain and, no matter what, it never gets better. If anything, it serves only as a cold reminder of how quickly everything can end.
In any case, it was time for the struggler to do what the struggler does best: fighting. But, before he was even able to stand up once more, a female voice emerged from the bushes.
She was blonde and her eyes shined with a unique crimson colour. By her outfit and, more specifically, the distinct brown coat that covered her upper body, it was easy to instictively know that the woman in question was part of the Hunter organization. Not only that, but her skill also showed such thing. Her presence could become a problem depending on the type of Hunter that she was... but that wasn't exactly something that he needed to worry about for now.
The important thing was that the odds had become even again. Maybe more than even. A shot at living one more day seemed more plausible with this new presence in the battlefield.
No mistakes this time.
He dashed forward in the direction of his rapier, Regalia Slaga, as the Huntress gave him the order to cut the tail of the beast.
Didn't even need to mention it, he said in a low voice, not really for the other human to hear, but more as a comment to himself.
Grabbing the sword without stopping, he change angles in order to rush towards the back-end of the contained beast. However, it was at this point that, smelling its own destiny, the creature of the Outlands became more and more furious.
Wiggling violently like a fish out of water, the beast removed its tail from the spear that had impaled it with nothing only other than sheer and raw strenght: the member now dripped in viscous liquid from the hole left by the unshakable spear, but movement was now once more a possibility that made the beast confident to begin moving his head in the same rough manner, trying to release itself from the Hunter that was holding it down no matter how much pain that caused.
Gwrtheyrn reacted to this change of behaviour quickly.
Use this!, he yelled in the direction of the woman as he threw her his sword without stopping his dash towards the rear end of the monster.
Scenting his approach, the animal tried to again use its tail as a weapon, wipping it in a quick and single powerful movement at the fast approaching Gwrtheyrn.
This time, the outcome would be different.
Right before he got hit by the appendage, the boy suddenely stopped, both his feet strongly set on the ground. Gwrtheyrn knew exactly where the sun was in relation to his position. That the sun was in one of its highest positions due to the time of the day it was.
He knew that his own shadow was in front of him.
Dussent Skaad: Blandr Sik.
The shadow coming from his feet rose up in front of himself, forming a perfect and slim blade that, by staying in place, perfectly cut the oncoming tail of the creature in half, Gwrtheyrn standing unharmed in its middle.
The beast screamed even louder than before. It was now significantly weaker and desperate. All that was left was...
"Ugh... Gah... Mother... fu-... Stay fucking still!" Yazmyn bellowed angrily as the beast thrashed about everywhere, adamant in its ferocious attempt to get the nimble Huntress off of its head. Most it could feel was pain and it let the two humans be painfully aware of this fact after Yazmyn had stuck its own tooth into its disgusting and stinky gums. It roared, snarled, hissed, shrieked - what didn't it do, for Gods' sake? Yazmyn was starting to get a headache by this point. It took far too much effort to stay on this beast's head without being thrown away like a ragdoll, let alone try to dish out any damage to it. The claws of Icarus had dug deep into its sticky flesh as Yazmyn struggled to hold on, her body being strewn about in every direction seemingly all at once.
"Stupid... piece of... goddamn... shit!" The blonde once again roared out, this time with some anger as she slammed the side of her healthy fist against the monstrosity... though that had been purely out of frustration. Without a her knife she wouldn't really be able to do anything to actually cause any damage what with Icarus being used in lieu of a fucking hook. All she could really do was tighten the grip of her claws inside the creature's skin but if she pushed too hard she might just take a chunk of this asshole's flesh with her and get flung back to Vantalux.
Yet she managed to watch the other human in the vicinity from the corner of her eye. The beast had already managed to pull its tail away from Yazmyn's spear - a sight that even the Huntress herself had to hiss at: shit must've been painful as hell - and as a result made this stupid merry-go-round kick into sixth gear on the way to fuck-you-land. Brakes? This thing's clearly never heard of 'em. Fine. Fuck it. Whatever. She'd hold on. If it's a battle of endurance this thing wanted, she'd more than welcome the challenge. What would come first? This piece of shit getting tired, or Yazmyn barfing?
Okay, the latter of the two was probably the more likely outcome. The alcohol and three consecutive sleepless nights weren't doing her any favors. Time to look at Gwrtheyrn again in the hopes he had some kind of plan.
Oh. Turned out he did! Almost as though he realized that Yazmyn was struggling in between trying to damage it and holding on, he tossed her what she could only assume was his own sword - oh, a rapier... classy! - which she grabbed with relative ease. Her eyes continued to watch the male when she realized what he was about to try to do. She didn't know who he was, but he clearly wasn't any kind of Enforcer or Hunter - didn't look the part. A bit too scrawny. Plus, his movement - while still having a very distinct type of finesse - felt... wasteful. Almost as though there were a lot of unnecessary moves which served only to drain his stamina. Not that Yazmyn herself was already a master at it, but she was getting there. Anywho, long story short this guy didn't seem like he was a trained combatant, but goddamn did he have the sense for it. Yazmyn was just about to open her mouth and shout out a warning when the guy stopped dead in his tracks all by himself as though he had predicted the swipe of this fucker's tail. Nice!
Holy shit, he actually did it! Yazmyn thought at the sight of this beast's tail being split open courtesy of the male and his shadow manipulation... or whatever that was. The beast, however, screeched with such agony that Yazmyn swore any louder and her eardrums would burst wide open like the legs of a whore on a Friday in Vantalux. The rapier still in her hand, the blonde Huntress very aptly decided to say fuck this shit and released her hold off of the beast. Getting into a running start, Yazmyn hopped off of the front of its head and, with a quick and acrobatic somersault, landed on the ground with a roll. The beast looked like it hadn't noticed her absence at all what with it jerking around all over the place and whining like a little bitch.
Then again if she was in the situation that thing was, she'd probably bitch about it a little too.
Gods what she wouldn't give to have a tail.
"Oi, bitch!" Yazmyn yelled out as she got back on her feet, grin still very much intact after the other human in the area gave her the go ahead to start some barbecue. Her calling out actually managed to reach the beast's ears - if it even had any - and it redirected its anger directly at the blonde Huntress. The roar came first, then the utter stench of shit that came along with it. Yazmyn barely had any time to whine about it when it charged her head first. And Yazmyn? Well, Yazmyn just stood still and braced herself, her grin slowly turning into a smirk as she raised the rapier, the sharp end pointing at the approaching beast.
Flames collected at her wrist and extended onto the blade as its maw closed around her.
"Sayonara, motherfucker!"
The flash of light came before the searing heat. Within the blink of an eye the Huntress unleashed a massive wave of fire from her arm directly into the creature's throat as Gwrtheyrn's blade pierced its vile skin. It spread and spread and spread, heating the air around them upwards onto impossible degrees so much so that the creature froze and started bloating... and eventually completely exploded in a plume of guts and golden fire.
...all while Yaz stood at ground zero, now finding herself covered in the innards of a creature that actually ate shit. Or so she surmised based on the stench.
"...I hope you have a very good reason for fighting this asshole, clay-tits. I sincerely don't want to hear that I got covered in shit for nothing," Yazmyn mused aloud, clear irritation written all over her face as she wiped... guts... off of her face with the back of her hand.
[attr="class","itsover"] He watched from a distance as the professional of the Outlands finished the job off. Gwrtheyrn had no idea where on the rankings of the Sponsored Job known as Hunter this yellow sun fell into, but one thing was certain: a person with only One Star to show still had much more ability to handle a beast when compared to a regular citizen... even if Gwrtheyrn himself was an Emes. Not only that - and thinking about it while the girl shouted some profanity in the way of the creature - this was, in fact, the first real battle that the young man from The Wharf had participated in. He had scuffles when he was a child, he practiced his swordsmanship abilities with Warduul, but a fight against a proper enemy... not ever had he done such thing until just then.
Has his body showed, the world much prefered inflicting pain onto him without giving an opportunity to defend himself. The appearance of this fire was one of the few times that luck found its way towards him.
As Knútr saw the slimy creature grow and grow in mass as the heat and gas accumulated on its own insides, he was quick to deduce what about to happen in the next few seconds. And, as such, he also knew exactly how his Vel could help with that.
Duusend Skaad: Waglr.
As he crouched down, his own shadow gained mass and elevated itself, forming a wall in front of its user that blocked all the incoming... well, all the incoming shitty stuff. When the blast ended, Gwrtheyrn simply stood up and, in the process, willingly deactivated his Vel. This made the shadow revert to its original non-physical form, making all the guts and questionable coloured materials that had got stuck on it simply fall on the floor.
While the Huntress was covered on multiple disgusting fluids, the man with diamond eyes was as clean as possible... well, except all the blood and damage he suffered from the previous ten minutes he had spent facing that thing.
His left arm was still dropping blood - even if at a slower rate now - due to the gash the beast had been able to inflict with his teeth prior to the arrival of the other human. His head was also still with the same red liquid, even if he didn't know how that little cut had happened. Then there was his back that was hurting like crazy ever since he had been launched into that hard tree log just a minute ago. Adrenaline was still going on so the pain wasn't as acute as it should be, but he would totally need to get that all sorted out sooner rather than later.
Being totally covered in fecal fluid or being totally wrecked... Well, both have its positives and negatives.
He took a few steps towards the direction of the female as he replied to her words.
It's rather complicated, calm, composed, serene... his voice didn't reflect his worned out body or the aftermath of a physically demanding fight, In the Fishing Hamlet there isn't any sanitary system, so we do our needs in a shed and move them every morning to the nearby part of the Outlands in order to keep everything clean and healthy.
Just a few steps away from the woman whose eyes had now turned lavender and sideways to her, he got on his knees. In front of him, there were a few of the beasts remains. One of them was a rather big piece of its upper body that had resisted being turned to ash.
A little beast uses our waste as food and is happy on just taking that and getting a move on. A good partnership, if you ask me. Then this big one came to the area a few days ago and scared it way, not only taking the meals for itself but getting more and more close to our huts as it wanted more of it. Hopefully the smaller can come back now, otherwise, well..., he shifted his eyes up to the Huntress, In a few days I'll be looking like you are right now.
Gwrtheyrn turned his looks again at the larger piece that remained from the monster. Closing his eyes, he placed his right hand on top of it. For a few seconds, he just stayed like that. Motionless, quietly breathing. Then, as if something had been finished, he rose up, standing tall on his feet and with his half-naked body faced towards the one who, for all effects, saved him.
As she stood there, Yazmyn couldn't help but cough a few times. Her head was pounding, ears ringing, and her nose felt like someone had popped one of those stink-bomb toys the kids used nowadays right in her face. As she listened to this man speak, it was confirmed to her that this beast did in-fact eat shit, if the smell didn't give away that information beforehand. Then again everything now stunk so bad it was kind of difficult to discern one stench from another. Gods she felt like throwing up. Those sleepless nights really weren't doing her any favors.
She glanced at the other human in the vicinity with something of an irritated expression... though honestly it was just a sleep-deprived one that made Yazmyn look like the most miserable person within the span of about fifty square kilometers... which wasn't exactly inaccurate give the circumstances the blonde found herself in. A soft sigh left the girl as she shook her head wildly, trying to get some of the ooze of. She rubbed her face with the back of her arm - which, surprisingly, was still relatively clean - and wiped some of that crap off.
A keen ear listened to this man speak as she did her best to clean herself off with what she had available. Parts of clean clothes, the leaves on the trees - whatever she came into contact with that had a semblance of clean on it she'd use to render it otherwise. "Alright, then it wasn't for nothing. I can live with that," Yazmyn admitted as she glanced at the man who was now crouching next to a slab of meat remaining from that vile creature she had just incinerated. She quirked a brow in wonder - was he praying? A religious type? Huh. Given how scarred his body was it made sense - people like that fell into either of the two extremes.
"I'm Yazmyn. Yazmyn Noir. One Star Hunter. Vantalux branch." the blonde replied, saluting lazily. "And how about you show me a pond or whatever where I can wash this shit off and we call it even, mister...?"
